Wednesday, March 7, 2012

How To Speak GIF: Choosy Housewives Choose GIFs

Greetings squirrel-friends!

Here are your Housewives for another installment of How To Speak GIF, where we demonstrate the principal way that we communicate to each other on the internet. Because we are busy (read as: lazy) and always trying to make each other laugh (read as: come up with the nastiest insult), GIFs are invaluable ways of referencing our precious pop culture, getting a point across in simpler ways, and also a new fun way of showing superiority. The better the GIF, the better the homo! So just like last time, we have compiled 5 situations and presented our choice response GIFs! Shall we begin?

Also be sure to vote for who had the best GIFs and leave some of your own in the comment section!


Situation 1: You just got done watching Let's Be Bad on Smash
Andrew

Anthony

Liam

Peter

Shaun

Steven

Situation 2: That awkward moment you realize that Peter is the Willam of our group
Andrew

Anthony

Liam

Peter

Shaun

Steven

Situation 3: One of the more basic members of your extended group of friends tries shading you in front of everyone.
Andrew

Anthony

Liam

Peter

Shaun
Steven

Situation 4: Your Saturday night trick asks if you want to poppers
Andrew

Anthony

Liam

Peter

Shaun

Steven

Situation 5: The first time you hear the Birthday Cake remix in the club
Andrew
Anthony

Liam

Peter

Shaun

Steven

Who won this GIF-off??

Friday, March 2, 2012

Real Housewives of Hell's Kitchen have the X-Factor


This afternoon, our guest blogger Alan learned that X-Factor USA is about to hold auditions for its second season. Struck with inspiration, he immediately e-mailed us:

"I think the RHOHK should become the next hot boy (gurl) group. I think this is the perfect opportunity for you to share your gift of song with the world. I'll do your PR for free (not that you'll need it). I'm thinking your first smash hit should be titled 'He Got Them AIDS.' It'll be a love ballad of gay life in Hell's Kitchen. I mean the song will basically write itself."

X-Factor Auditions. THIS IS OUR CHANCE.

Instantly, we each realized how genuinely perfect this concept was. Here's a sampling of the e-mail thread that ensued:

Liam: I like this idea! I'll be the pretty one that can't sing - just like Posh Spice!
Andrew: *Practices Aguileravocals*
Shaun: I love this idea! We could be like The Pussycat Dolls. I can be Nicole, and you can all be my backup dancers. 
Andrew: Well Shaun, since half of your dancers have more #1s than you, I'm down with that!
Steven: BOOP! 
Alan: Oh, and on top of being your publicist I am also going to be your tour manager. I'll make sure to keep you all skinny by mandating group vomiting after all meals and lines of cocaine the size of rulers before every show.
Liam: Oh look, someone caught our Manager, Alan Tanner, on video....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUqSBtp5XVM
Anthony: I don't mind being the Effie of the group. I'll just carry u bitches on my back until I'm offered a solo contract with Sony/Interscope. Bye Letoya and Latavia! 
Steven: Well I'm CLEARLY Kelly Rowland.
Peter: Yes Steven, you are clearly that basic bitch...
Steven: Basic my ass....Fuckin' trick-ass Michelle Williams. 
Peter: At least I've had a number one album......on the gospel charts.
Steven: Commander. BYE WIG!
Liam: We could be like Girls Generation and just be really big in Asia.
 
Then again, as much as we all want to believe that we'd be an amazing group, our music (and tour bus) would probably just be a lot of this: 

video