Tuesday, February 7, 2012

RECAP: Rupaul's Drag Race, Episode 2

This week on RuPaul's Next Top Model saw these still relatively ratty group of girls transform their booties into badonkadonks, throw down in a wrestling arena and give their best bubblegum babe look on the runway. While this is the type of challenge that I am not a fan of as it has little to no application in the drag world, it was definitely an entertaining one and it was nice that there wasn't some hideous blow-out within one of the groups...let's get down to each Queen!

Chad Michaels

I continue to be a fan of this gypsy/tramp/thief this week. She is all attitude and experience. With that deep gravelly voice and her never quite too girly brand of drag, she is someone who clearly has the skills and professionalism to be a drag celebrity. However, as I said last week she isn't the most interesting and I can't imagine what her market would be if she became a superstar...let's keep her around for a few more weeks, though. Perhaps there will be a challenge better suited to the geriatric that will let her shine.

Dida Ritz

I really can't with this one. Never beats her face properly, sports the rattiest fucking wigs that this show has EVER seen, and her sense of style is so off that I don't really understand how she got on here to begin with. That "Sarah Jessica Parker" look was missing a few things: a saddle, a sense of style, and any self-respect. For me, Dida is very much the most basic of the season, and the fact that she isn't gone is working my last nerve.

Jiggly Caliente

OK. DONE with this girl. Her attitude is so fucking messy, her outfits look like something she pulled out of the Haitian wreckage, and let's just be real: the bitch isn't pretty enough to be a drag superstar. Don't get me wrong...she could make herself more attractive. But her "Shit Spanish Girls Say" brand of drag is bottom-feeder...maybe Jiggly can get booked at Escuelita, but she isn't getting much more than that. Send this one sashaying, Ru!!

Kenya Michaels

I fail to see anything interesting about Tanzania Michaels. Little Congo here has none of the comedy of Jessica Wild, half the energy of Yara Sofia, MAYBE a tenth of Nina Flowers' creativity, and isn't even as interesting as Madame LaQueer. Not that Uganda has to be judged based solely on the other Puerto Rican contestants, but since they often pull the same tricks and have similar looks, it makes sense. I don't know that I have many negative things to say about Nigeria, but I also don't have anything good. Rwanda will be uninteresting filler until she has left our ranks.
Lashauwn Beyond

Girl. BYE. I am not at all sad to see this one go. All of her "strongest" attributes are high level tacky and uninteresting at the same time, and her personality is somewhere between Camden, the Bronx, and a 1st grade classroom. And once again...you decided to pick Lashauwn as your first name. Can we say Dollar Tree employee? See you later bitch, TTYN.
Latrice Royale

LOVE this one more and more. This big bitch's display of wisdom and confidence on Untucked along with her consistently strong performance in the challenges has left me with a good, beefy taste in my mouth. She may not have the level of glamour that big girls like Delta Work have in the past, but she knows who she is and knows how to carry herself. I can't say I see her making it to the Top 3, but her personality is so stellar that I hope she sticks around for most of the competition. 
Madame LaQueer

I don't agree with the praise for her. I don't like her complaining about her ankle. I don't like how endlessly dowdy she looks at all times, and I don't think it was cute to denigrate herself down to a fat animal for the wrestling challenge. Drag queens spend their lives poking fun at themselves, but that won't win her any points in the long run if she doesn't show that she is a superstar rather than a prop. I dunno...most seasons can really only support one big girl per season, and Latrice is just worlds better. I see her disappearing in the near future.

Phi Phi O'Hara

Phi Phi served a lil too much Kardashian realness on the runway last night for my tastes, but the bitch is polished, professional, and creative. She continued to showcase that she has the personality of a pile of vomit by being overly aggressive and unforgiving towards Jiggly/all fat people in the world during Untucked, and I can't say I am interested in her. But it is sort of obvious that she is one of the best here, so let's hope she gives us something to root for sooner rather than later. Also, it helps that she is sort of a cute boy? I wanna get KiKi with PhiPhi!!
Sharon Needles

“We’re selfish, vain, creatures of beauty. And isn’t it bizarre how we make the best friends in the world?” Sharon continues to win me over on every level. Hilarious tension breakers, a seemingly amazing relationship with equally entertaining drag queen Alaska, and an almost intimidating amount of creativity. Sharon is a queen who could breeze through this competition, win, and then go on to be such a superstar. Sharon FTW!!!!
The Princess

I'm at a bit of an impasse with The Princess. I find her style and personality to be intriguing and interesting, and I think she has a cool way of going about doing drag. However, the whole shy thing has never worked out in my eyes as a drag queen. Normal drag queens can be shy if they are good performers because all you are doing is drinking and watching them in a bar...who cares about their personality? But to be a drag superstar, you have to have a magnetic and charismatic personality (so you know...not Raja). I sort of doubt that The Princess has that going for her...but I am still sort of rooting for her.
OK, I get that she is being sort of painted as a villain. And I understand why her tendency to brag about her considerable achievements in the entertainment industry can be annoying. But I think she has a great subtle sense of humor, a drive and a vision, and a lot of things that contribute to her possibly being the dark horse of the competition. I can't say I like that her style is often a little too Walmart, but she could have been wearing a burlap sack when she said "BYE" to RuPaul on the runway and I would have shrieked with laughter. I want Willam to be in this for long haul!

So, that's it for this week...I have to say I am a little disappointed that so many duds are in this season, but I think that queens like Willam, Sharon and Princess will keep me excited and interested...who do you think should go next?!


  1. Seriously Andrew, this is hilarious. There are so many tidbits of humor that had me howling. You should really consider writing about drag queens for a living, because you've got talent.

    Glad you still found a Raja jab to make....pressed ass bitch. LOVE YA.

  2. So glad you like Willam and dislike Phi Phi's abrasive personality. I thought I might be the only one.