Earlier this week resident house-husband Alan astutely pointed out our habit of expressing affection through bitchery. While this may be our preferred recreational activity (well, that and pre-gaming to not leave the apartment), sometimes our premenstrual vitriol can be too much even for us. On those few occasions we like to press pause and take a moment to remind one another that even though we may call Anthony's reputation "Parking Lot Pussy," or Peter's rectum "prolapsed," or Shaun's face "beat-within-an-inch-of-its-
life," we still truly love one another and wish each other the best in life.
This is one such occasion.
As I'm sure most of you are unaware, our dear Steven has been working his Adderall-aided ass off for the past two months in preparation for a particularly nasty entrance exam. Now, unlike a Breathalyzer or STD screening, this is one test us housewives think he has a pretty good chance of passing. However, Steven has poured his blood, sweat, and many tears into studying for this exam, abstaining from many of the activities that make life in Hell's Kitchen worth living. Therefore, on the eve of his exam, we'd like to take this opportunity to offer our support to our sister-wife and our confidence in his future success. Steven, we could not be more proud of you.
"I am thoroughly impress-ed by the amount of work that you've put into this test! Can't wait to have your tranny ass back in all of its annoying fashion, faggot!"
"There's no one else that can handle a handfull of pills like you, Judy! You're gonna be a star!!"
"So happy you can graduate from classes and start being mildly fun again!"
"If I've learned anything from Peter Pan, its that you clap to let a fairy know you believe in him."
Good Luck, Honey Badger! We'll be waiting for you after, celebratory martinis in hand.
....oh, and we expect your first post on Monday.