Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Choosy Faggots, Choose GIFS!

I'll start off by saying that if you don't know the tag line I am referencing in the title, you had a terrible childhood with no cable or a not-so-choosy mom who didn't love you. But you are probably still a faggot, but just a basic one at that.

ANYWAY, gifs for those of you who aren't aware are simply animated images, generally from a movie, TV show, etc. that are picked out because they depict a funny scenario or pivotal part of the video.

OR if you're a faggot, a gif is a cunty way of responding to a Facebook post, a twitter twat or a mass email chain full of some of the rudest shit a group of homosexuals can throw at one another--ya know--when words just aren't enough. Gifs can either stand alone as your input to the conversation or act in chorus with some sort of bitchy slander to enhance its effect. There truly is a gif for every occasion, and often times my friends and I will correspond throughout the day almost entirely using them.

For example, should that bargain basement bitch Steven (love ya boo!!) attempt to say that he was in fact, NOT a bargain basement bitch, I might post this gif below along with a comment about how he never misses a fire sale on billowy tops or skank tanks at TAGG:


Or let's say that Liam, Andrew, and hell let's throw Sacagafaga, Anthony, in there too, start trying to diva off about which one of their faves screeched that whistle note in Defying Gravity better (although I do loves me some Wicked) or whether Patti Lupone or Elaine Stritch sang "Ladies Who Lunch" better--I might appropriately respond to them individually with something like this:


OR I could respond to them collectively with a MEME, which is similar to a gif, but can be stationary like the one below:


Oh and not one to leave anyone out...let's say that Shaun makes that same old tired joke when he walks in the room and any SJP scene of Sex and the City is on about how much he loves Seabiscuit. That is the perfect opportunity to pull up this gif on your computer, turn your laptop screen to face him and let Ms. Tanisha from BGC speak for you!


Basically, gifs are just a more versatile (I see you chuckling, homo) way of being rude and cunty to your friends. The art of gifs is in knowing which one is the perfect one to respond to the specific situation. The most discerning and diligent (read: unemployed) faggots create folders on their computers where they catalog gifs that they stumble upon in the hopes that one day it will prove useful. Others have certain sites they know has a large array of gifs that are appropriate, (see for ex. RealityTVGifs--cat's outta the bag now, Sacagafaga!)

So next time one of your friends says something stupid on an email chain or tries to come at you on Facebook or Twatter with shit that's more basic than Nicole Scherzinger's career, don't try and tell them simply in words how idiotic they sound! Spice things up a bit with an elegantly placed gif and let Queen Bey tell that simple faggot how dumb they really are:

1 comment:

  1. http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqgj06er731qcba0jo1_500.png

    ReplyDelete